Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Light Bulbs

How many in a religious denomination does it take to change a light bulb?

Note: Being Baptist myself, I particularly liked the Baptist one!

Charismatic : Only 1. Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal : 10. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians : None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic : None. Use candles only.

Baptists : At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken

Episcopalians : 3. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormon : 5. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians : We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid parts to luminescence.

Methodists : Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb , or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans : None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish : What's a light bulb?


Anonymous said...

Hey Mom,

Yep, that sounds like Baptist alright! I really liked the Amish one too. And a lot of the others.

Love ya,

Keri Lynn

jennifer said...

I just read this to Bill!! We are rolling ! Thank you for posting this!

A Note From Theresa said...

Thats not my kind of Baptist. Maybe a southern baptist but not an Independent Baptist.

It was still funny though.

Jackie said...

Definitely Southern Baptist! Definitely!

Qtpies7 said...

Those are cute! I was both Lutheran and Baptist, well, and Catholic, but I don't remember that, lol.

Qtpies7 said...

I just had to tell you, after I commented I read it to my husband. After he got done laughing about the Lutheran one he remembered something that happened with his aunt. It is a bloggable moment, truly. Stop by to see what it was! http://qtpies7.blogspot.com/2007/08/now-ive-heard-it-all-really.html

Anonymous said...


Not all Baptist like Fried chicken. Why do they get such bum raps all the time? We are Independent Baptist now.

Amish... yep no light bulbs... couldn't live without my electricity... Attending a Menonite church for a while though opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Elizabeth F. said...

I love it! That was too cute. And I live in the South...it's so funny when there's any event EVERYONE brings Fried Chicken! LOL!