Thursday, October 04, 2007

Letter to a boss

I cannot even begin to tell you all about the last few days. They've gone by in a whirl of chaos, tears and joy. It's so hard to be broke right now. We've been struggling for over a year now, and have made some hard decisions. Now all that's left to do is to find a JOB. A JOB! So here is a letter to prospective employers:

Dear Employer,

Would you kindly disregard the fact that I have not been employed for 16 years? My resume looks a little blank, I know. A high school job at a sales counter and a two-year stint as a church secretary just don't look all that impressive on paper. But you must believe me, dear employer, that I have not been idle! Oh, no! Never idle.

I am a master of the sale. I can buy groceries for nine VERY hungry people for a whole week for $70. I can diagnose a cut that needs stitches from a cut that needs a band-aid better than George Clooney. I can price and compare any given item or service until your eyes glaze over. I can clean and vacuum an entire house in 45 minutes. I can run a washing machine for 36 hours at a time. I can sort and store clothing for seven children. I can give spelling tests, sign permission slips, teach how to subtract three-digit numbers, explain slope/intercept form, and read Hop on Pop all in the space of two hours. And, I can give you a kiss on the forehead, dear employer, and tell you it will all be okay.

So would you PLEASE give me a job? PLEASE?!!

With all of the:

dependability
professionalism
accuracy
type 60 wpm
good phone skills

that I can muster,
Jackie

3 comments:

Pen of Jen said...

I would hire you today.

Qtpies7 said...

I'd hire you! Can you clean my house? Vaccuum my van? LOL
You should look into the payperposts, I have earned $100.25 in under 30 days, it isn't a "job" but it will help out. I also do secret shopping, which is not much either, but they do pay for your food plus a little extra! When you are broke, eating out is a joy, eating out for free and being paid for it... priceless!

Have you thought about babysitting? I only do 20-24 hours a week, but I bring in between $180 and $250 a week. Without having babysitting costs, transportation, clothing, eating out, etc, I am actually bringing in what I'd make outside the home.

What else? Oh, I've seen people advertise cleaning homes in the local paper and in the laundromat. It is a bit of money, at least until you get a job.

Jackie said...

Jen: : )

qtpies: I really do need to look into that payperposts thing. That's not bad.

Are you serious about the secret shopping? They pay for your food? You're not kidding about eating out! That's one of my favorite things to do, but it's so expensive!

You certainly do have some great income coming in! I admire your spunk!

I've thought about cleaning houses, too, but then I look at MY house and my confidence level takes a flying leap out the window!