I cannot even begin to tell you all about the last few days. They've gone by in a whirl of chaos, tears and joy. It's so hard to be broke right now. We've been struggling for over a year now, and have made some hard decisions. Now all that's left to do is to find a JOB. A JOB! So here is a letter to prospective employers:
Would you kindly disregard the fact that I have not been employed for 16 years? My resume looks a little blank, I know. A high school job at a sales counter and a two-year stint as a church secretary just don't look all that impressive on paper. But you must believe me, dear employer, that I have not been idle! Oh, no! Never idle.
I am a master of the sale. I can buy groceries for nine VERY hungry people for a whole week for $70. I can diagnose a cut that needs stitches from a cut that needs a band-aid better than George Clooney. I can price and compare any given item or service until your eyes glaze over. I can clean and vacuum an entire house in 45 minutes. I can run a washing machine for 36 hours at a time. I can sort and store clothing for seven children. I can give spelling tests, sign permission slips, teach how to subtract three-digit numbers, explain slope/intercept form, and read Hop on Pop all in the space of two hours. And, I can give you a kiss on the forehead, dear employer, and tell you it will all be okay.
So would you PLEASE give me a job? PLEASE?!!
With all of the:
type 60 wpm
good phone skills
that I can muster,
25 minutes ago