A Letter to Kade

To my son,

Congratulations, Kade! You made it to your seventh birthday. It was a little touch-and-go there for a few years, what with the many times you tried to kill yourself and the many times I felt like killing you myself. Incidents involving toilet paper, baby wipes, diaper ointment, Epsom salt, Tums . . .

But, Oh! When it came right down to it, and I'd look into your sweet brown eyes, murderous intentions seeped out of my soul and I'd give you a great big hug instead.

Today, I got the chance to give you another great big hug and sing you happy birthday.

You are now in first grade. I teach you and Konner at the breakfast table each school day, or at least whenever I get to it. You can count to 100. You struggle with your alphabet. You really don't appreciate the fine art of penmanship. Sitting still for family Bible time is torture. Still, when you're in the scholastic mood, you'll write your name in cursive and you'll write out your own math problems.

Kade, you are such a pleaser. You'll come home with big tears in your eyes when a friend has said something mean, and the next day (or even the next hour) there you'll be playing with that same friend as if nothing had happened. You like to pick the same kinds of clothes, food, toys as the others, so you can be alike. You tell stories with such drama. You love to say, "That's awesome!" and you call everybody "Dude."

You love to watch Pixar movies. You and Konner take them up to your room and watch them so many times that you memorize the lines. Lately, it's been the movie Cars.

For your birthday, you got $34. And from your birthday party two days ago until we finally got in the van to go to Target today, that money was all you talked about. What would you get? "I know! I'm going to get a nerf gun like Kristofer's!" "No, I'm going to get a car set!" "Mommy, which one should I get?!" "When are we going to go SHOPPING?!"

I was pretty sure we'd be stuck at Target for days as you wandered the aisles. But actually, you cataloged all of the possible items very carefully in your brain. I helped you add up the money and figure out various combinations of prized toys. You settled on a skateboard (assuring me that you had the elbow/knee pads at home), a dart board (just like Ryan and Brandon's!) and a set of Hot Wheels. Life is good!

There are certain things that I always want to remember about you, Kade. One of them is that you are always hungry. There is not a day that goes by where you don't think you might die of starvation. However, I will never allow you to eat two bowls of chili again. You are lethal with two bowls of chili.

You're very strong. You're built like a brick. Where Konner is taller and leaner, you're solid. You're not fat at all, but you're not skinny either. You outweigh Kylie by a couple of pounds, even though you're a little shorter than she is and a year and a half younger! You were in a contest in RAs a few months back to see who could hold their hands up in front of them the longest. You won for your age group and came in second for all the boys up to fifth grade. You were very proud of this accomplishment! When we got into the car, you played this game of fortitude with all of your brothers and sisters and you beat them easily!

Kade, my prayer for you is that the Lord will grasp you by your heart and never let go. May He always be at the very center of your life.

I had a vision about you, once, when you were just a baby. You had a very hot fever. I was really worried. I held you to me and kept a cool washcloth to your head and body, praying that you would be okay. I saw a glimpse into your future. You were a pastor. You were married. There was pain in your life, people had hurt you, but you were a stronger, more godly person because of it. And I knew you would be okay. I knew I could trust the Lord to care for you far more than I ever could.

Whether it was a vision from God or just a hope, I don't know. I won't know until you're grown up. In the meantime, may the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord's face shine upon you until He comes. Amen.

Love,
Your Mom